Food and Sex

I wish I had a Tempurpedic, so that I could place food on my bed next to me without worrying about a spill. I like eating on my bed because it is a comfortable location in which it is socially acceptable to be nude. If you are naked anywhere else, and someone sees you, they will be like "What the fuck?"--unless they were a dirty hippie, in which case they would hit on me and suggest some sort of "gang bang" and then I would have to kill him because I am NOT a homosexual-- Except in the bathroom. But that's not a good place to eat. 

Have you ever tried eating while having sex? I haven't. I would think it to be phenomenal, since it combines the two best things in the world. What do people really live for, aside from eating and sexing? 

Here is a list of the best foods in the world:

• BACON
• fried chicken
• sirloin steak (extra rare. there has to be blood)
• lunchables
• babies*

*You may think it is wrong to eat babies, but think of it this way: if you are eating them while having sex then its ok because its like recycling. Just be sure to ditch the condom. I personally would not use a condom so that my partner could get pregnant, so that the bitch can have an abortion. Then I could really feast.